© 1997 Ragnar Fyri. All rights reserved.

During a recent visit to Scotland it struck me that while many of the places we visited had had songs written about them, the list of such places does not (to my knowledge) include Loch Ness. Some time ago I tried to remedy that shortcoming, and ended up with a song (?) that probably isn't about Nessie at all, but at least it is about a monster in a (Scottish?) lake...

There's a lake between the mountains    
and it's dark and very deep
In this lake of hidden fountains
lies a monster fast asleep

There is not a single island
on the surface anywhere
But (?) the people of the highland
tell the stranger to beware

In the days of old king Arthur
many knights would heed its call
But they did not venture farther
for the monster ate them all!

As the night mist was unfurlin'
on that gloomy lake one day
came the mighty wizard Merlin
With the monster he would play

[Here's a number of unwritten verses detailing how Merlin fought the monster and discovered that it was immortal, so he could not slay it as he had planned. So...]

As the monster started roaring (?)
Merlin cast a spell of sleep
And it sent the monster snoring
to the dark unholy (?) deep

In the lake of hidden fountains
lies the monster to this day
And if you come through these mountains
you'll do best to keep away

Yes, if you come through these mountains
you'll do best to keep away!!

No, it isn't exactly Robert Burns, but what did you expect??